


Blame It On the Butterflies

by Alluraallie



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Chenle is the best emotional support kpop boy, Jisung doesn't have an anxiety attack but almost, Jisung is anxious about graduation :(, Light Angst, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, they disgust me with how cute they are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alluraallie/pseuds/Alluraallie
Summary: Jisung is nervous about the upcoming '00 line graduation. Chenle calms him down and Jisung figures out some things about himself along the way.
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103





	Blame It On the Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! This is based on a tweet I saw where the Chenji menpa vlive had a fake caption that said "Jisung really wants a kiss that bad huh?" I just thought it was too cute not to write something about. 
> 
> People who are waiting for The Laundry Chronicles, don't worry! I did not abandon it, but it has been slow going due to my schedule as of late.
> 
> Once again thank you to my savior Liz for proofreading and editing <3

The struggle of trying to get as much sleep as humanly possible while still getting out the door on time was putting Jisung on edge lately. Usually he would wake up fifteen minutes before they had to leave. At which point, he would become so stressed that he would somehow wash up and throw clothing on in record time. Jaemin would drag him to the car and chastise him “because I woke you up over an hour before we were supposed to leave and you should really eat something substantial in the morning because it’s hard-” Jisung isn’t really sure what he says after that; he always blocks Jaemin out after the first couple sentences. As much as he loves him (though he’d never admit it), he wasn’t too fond of his nagging.

Like Jisung said before though, that was what usually happened. Ever since Chenle moved into the dorm temporarily for Boom promotions, his mornings were very different. The first went a little like this: He groaned when he heard the sound of Chenle’s alarm and rolled over to put his pillow over his ears from his spot on the floor. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Boss, but at 6am, the only thing he wanted to listen to was silence. Of course, his wish wouldn’t be granted. He heard Chenle shuffle around on the couch because letting out an obnoxiously loud yawn and shutting his alarm off. He then proceeded to fall on top of Jisung.

“Chenle-ya, it’s 6am, get off of me.” Jisung whined, his voice cracking from sleepiness.

“Park Jisung, it’s time to get up,” Chenle sing-songed next to his ear.

Jisung groaned again in response. “Since when are you a morning person?”

“Since my mom woke me up extra early for all our schedules because I’d have to take a car to the company first,” Chenle answered, “Now get up, we have to get ready.”

“You can get ready without me, Jaemin-hyung will come in and nag me soon enough,” Jisung replied, eyes still closed.

“Nope, if I have to get up, you do too,” Chenle said quickly and started poking Jisung in the sides.

No matter how much Jisung squirmed away and made noises of protest, Chenle didn’t let up. As much as he hated getting up, the fondness he had for Chenle outweighed that tenfold. He didn’t think it was possible for anyone to actually be mad at Chenle. He was like a happy virus, a constantly smiling, very persistent happy virus.

“Alright, alright. Stop, I’m getting up,” Jisung said, scooting away.

Jisung stood up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “I’m never playing video games with you again,” he deadpanned.

Chenle huffed before saying, “I’m going to wash up, don’t fall back to sleep Park Jisung!”

“Ah really?” Jisung said in annoyance to himself. He was really regretting staying up until 2am practicing his PUBG skills. But to be honest, he was just really really excited that Chenle was staying with them. Chenle didn’t have much of a reason to stay at the dorm; his family had a decent sized property close to the SM building. His mother agreed to get him to the places he needed to be on time and Chenle didn’t blame his family for wanting to keep Chenle with them. Jisung loved all his hyungs, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss Chenle sometimes. They just got each other on some different level. They were only two months apart and talked about anything and everything. They were friends, best friends.

Chenle’s only been here one night, and since then, Jisung’s been filled with this indescribable warmth. I guess that’s just Chenle’s effect on people; everyone else he’s sure felt the same.

\--

On the way to the car, Chenle and him were in a debate about which flavor of bingsu was better. Chenle insisted that fruit bingsu was better, but Jisung knew milk was superior.

“Jisung, if you honestly believe milk bingsu is better when you basically have just one choice of flavor, your brain really is smaller than your head,” Chenle said making his voice high-pitched at certain points. His voice was at Chenle-volume, which, to everyone else meant yelling, but for Chenle was his normal speaking voice.

Before Jisung could retort, Jeno interjected.

“Wow,” he said a little louder than usual, “you two are so energetic this morning,” Jeno finished with a tight-lipped smile. Jeno might’ve been smiling on the outside, but Jisung didn’t miss the silent annoyance in his expression.

“Oh Jeno, let them have their fun. It’s their first lover’s quarrel since living together,” Jaemin said putting his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

As soon as the words “lover’s quarrel” left Jaemin’s mouth, Chenle stuck out his tongue, Jisung made the most disgusted face he could manage, Renjun and Haechan simultaneously pretended to be sick, and Jeno rolled his eyes. Jaemin only smiled in response at getting the reaction he wanted.

Typical Jaemin-hyung, Jisung thought to himself.

As soon as everybody was starting to feel content with the silence, Jisung started up again.

“Milk bingsu goes with everything, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Everyone let out a collective groan as Chenle loudly protested.

Oh well, he was right. He wasn’t going to let Chenle win this one.

\--

Before their music show performance, they had a bit of a break. There was food for them in the dressing room and of course, Jisung made a beeline for the snacks. He sat down with his pack of honey butter chips, eating happily while scrolling through his phone. As inevitable as breathing, Jaemin came over to pester him.

“Is our Jisungie eating well?” Oh no. The aegyo voice is already on. That’s never a good sign. “Can you give some to your favorite hyung?”

Jisung immediately tried to squirm away from Jaemin’s hold.

“Hyung, go get your own! There’s a table full of snacks over there. I don’t have that many,” Jisung whined.

“Just one. You don’t appreciate my cooking?” Jaemin said with a pout.

“Ah fine! Just get off of me.” Jisung said, shoving a chip into his mouth.

Jaemin hummed satisfied, then walked away to talk to Renjun and Haechan.

A few minutes later, Chenle came and sat next to him. He was playing PUBG on his phone and Jisung leaned on his shoulder and watched him play.

Jisung wasn’t normally one for skinship, but with Chenle, it was easy. Chenle never really forced anything onto him or overdid it. Hugs when they won a game, hands on thighs, and hand-holding when one of them was scared; those were actions that he even so much as appreciated rather than abhorred. This was nice, this was comfortable. And when Chenle asked for some chips, Jisung held out the bag so he could have as many as he wanted.

\--

They’re about halfway through promotions for Boom. Jisung’s gotten used to the early mornings, sleepy late night talks, loud conversations, and warm hands that wrapped around him more often. It’s surprisingly nice. Chenle and him don’t argue that much (though the hyungs would say otherwise) and his presence was usually calming to Jisung. This night though, Jisung was feeling anxious.

He wasn’t worried about anything in particular, but everything at the same time. What’s going to happen after promotions are over? Graduation is coming up and he’ll be alone. He’ll still have Chenle, but then they’ll have new people and have to establish a new sound. Will Czennies still support them after? He’s going to be one of the oldest...that’s something he’s never thought about before. He has to try and be a role model for others. Oh god what if I screw it up I-

“Jisungie, I can feel you thinking too much from here,” Chenle suddenly says in a soft voice.

Chenle turns over and tries to find Jisung’s eyes in the dark. When they finally meet, Jisung stiffens. He feels so small right now, like he’s falling in place.

“Sorry hyung, I just can’t sleep.”

Even though Jisung can’t see that well, he can tell Chenle’s expression softens and morphs into one of concern.

“What’s keeping you awake?” He whispers back, even softer than before.

“Nothing specifically, just a lot of things I guess.”

He sees Chenle nod briefly.

His heart picks up speed again. “And I don’t know, promotions are almost over and we don’t know what’s going to happen after. Everything’s going to change. I know Mark-hyung left already, but no one really moved places. Everything’s so uncertain and I’m just...nervous, I guess.”

His heartbeat is in his ears, and he almost misses Chenle’s sigh. It doesn’t sound exasperated, rather contemplative. He looks away for a moment in thought.

“You’re right about that; a lot is going to change and we don’t know exactly how everyone will be affected.”

He pauses for a moment before meeting Jisung’s worried eyes again.

“Just because our hyungs are graduating doesn’t mean they won’t be there anymore. Mark always gives us advice whenever he can, we’re still in a group chat together, we all meet up when we can, that stuff won’t change. And trust me, you’re not going to get rid of Jaeminnie-hyung that easily.”

Jisung couldn’t help the quirk of his lips. Chenle takes another pause where he looks away. Jisung holds his breath, anticipating whatever he would say next.

“And you still have me you know. Whatever challenges that come along with a new group, we’ll figure it out together. You’re the coolest person I know Jisungie, and you’re strong, but you won’t be alone,” Chenle continues, “Besides, the big head team has to stick together.”

Jisung let out a huff of laughter and Chenle responded by smiling back.

“Thank you, Chenle-ya,” Jisung said shakily, welling up with emotion. He wasn’t going to cry; this was already embarrassing enough.

“Come,” Chenle said scooting over and patting the couch.

“I don’t think that couch is big enough for two, Chenle-ya,” Jisung said, hesitantly.

“Aish, we’re not that big. We’ll make it work.”

“I think you mean you’re not that big,” Jisung replied in disbelief, but still walked over anyway.

He maneuvered himself as best as he could, so he wouldn’t squish Chenle too much.

“This was way easier to do when we were younger,” Jisung stated matter-of-factly, trying to turn over his shoulder to look at Chenle, “Are you okay? I really don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”

“I know, but this is nice. You’re like a giant space heater,” Chenle said, laughing breathily.

Jisung felt his cheeks heat up. His heart picked up speed again, this time for a different reason.

“Okay, goodnight Chenle,” he said quickly, attempting to mask his shyness.

“Goodnight,” Chenle replied; he already sounded like he was falling asleep. He reached an arm around Jisung’s waist and buried his face in his back.

Jisung took a deep, silent breath. He felt Chenle’s hand pet his head a few times.

He didn’t know it was possible to be nervous and at ease at the same time.

\--

The Dreamies had a day off today. It was rare to have a whole today to themselves with promotions still going on, so Jisung decided to take advantage of all the time he had...by sleeping the day away. When he finally woke up, it was around 4pm. He began scrolling through social media when his stomach loudly protested. He got up and made his way towards the kitchen before remembering their dorm auntie wouldn’t be there until at least 6.

He did have his ramen stash...but he wanted something more substantial.

Hmm...who could he whine to so they’ll make him food?

He didn’t see Jaemin-hyung in their room; he took a stroll around the dorm to see if anyone else was home. He heard Jeno-hyung’s laptop from the other side of the door. Jeno-hyung was almost as bad at cooking as he was, he wouldn’t be any help. He continued peeking into doors (Renjun didn’t seem to be home either) until he made it to the living room.

“Chenle-hyung! I’m hungry,” Jisung said, plopping down next to him on the couch.

Chenle glanced up from his phone briefly, then looked back to focus on what he was doing.

PUBG of course…

“Me too, auntie’s supposed to be here in a couple hours right?” Chenle said, eyes focused on the game.

“But I’m hungry now,” Jisung whined, putting his hand on Chenle’s arm.

“Go get your ramen,” Chenle shot back again without looking up.

“I want something else, like hotpot or fried rice,” Jisung said, excitement building when he mentioned the prospect of other food.

Chenle didn’t say anything in response, continuing to mercilessly shoot at other players through the screen. Jisung pouted; Chenle wasn’t paying attention to him. He decided to try something else.

“Chenle-hyung, make me something?” he said leaning his head on Chenle’s shoulder and nudging him a bit.

Chenle finally looked over at him. He looked like he was going to complain, but when he saw Jisung giving him the puppy-dog eyes, his face loosened up immediately. Jisung heard the sound of Chenle’s player dying.

When Chenle realized he died, he stood up and walked over to the kitchen, redness tinting his ears.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Park Jisung,” he said before he walked away.

Jisung felt his face heat up. Why was he feeling awkward? Chenle called him cute all the time. Why would this be any different? His cheeks eventually went back to their normal shade, but there was a tightness in his chest that lingered.

\--

Ever since their day off, Jisung’s been overthinking. Every time he was alone with Chenle, along with the usual comfort came a “quicker than usual” pulse of his heart. It was putting him on edge. He focused too much on things like the curve of his mouth, the way his eyebrows shot up when he thought Jisung said something outrageous, the way his eyes lit up when he won a match, the apples of his cheeks that were so round and cute when he smiled back of him, stupid things, things he’s never thought about before.

Jisung was nervous a lot, but he didn’t like feeling nervous around his hyungs. He found himself turning down offers of hanging out with Chenle that he would’ve normally jumped at the opportunity to accept. He didn’t hate the feeling of being with Chenle necessarily, but these new feelings were unfamiliar and ultimately, Jisung didn’t like being out of his comfort zone. He’d rather sit in bed (Jaemin’s bed), eat snacks, and mope.

The third time in the same week that Jaemin found him sitting there eating, he didn’t yell like he normally did.

He sighed before saying in a calm voice that he clearly was putting effort into, “Jisung, why do you insist on eating on my bed? Shouldn’t you be playing? Chenle’s in the living room with Renjun and I think Renjun’s reached his limit of PUBG.”

“I’m not in the mood to play PUBG,” Jisung said, turning over.

He felt Jaemin’s weight dip into the bed.

“I’m sure you could play something else, you know Chenle likes just spending time with you,” Jaemin said, his voice softening.

“I don’t want to,” Jisung answered quickly, without turning around.

He heard Jaemin sigh again.

“What’s wrong? You and Chenle are usually inseparable. Did you fight again?” Jaemin asked, curiously.

“No, I just don’t want to hang out.” Jisung answered petulantly.

“Now that’s a big fat lie and you know it,” Jaemin said back, sass creeping into his voice, “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.”

Jisung stayed quiet for a few minutes, hoping Jaemin would get bored or someone would call him to do something to no avail. He finally turned over and looked at Jaemin who raised his eyebrows in response.

“Nothing hyung, I’m just being stupid,” Jisung said. He felt exhausted even though he hadn’t done anything after their schedule this morning.

“I can’t argue with that but-” Jaemin started when Jisung hit him, Jaemin just smiled and put his finger up, “But, why do you feel that way?”

“I don’t know, I’m getting nervous again.”

“Why do you feel nervous?” Jaemin continued prompting.

“I’m not sure. Whenever I hang out with Chenle now, my heart starts beating really fast and it’s like I’m hyper-aware of everything that’s happening. Every time we touch, everything his says, when he smiles, it all makes me nervous now and I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it either.”

He looked away when he was speaking, but he looked back up at Jaemin when he finished. Jaemin had an unreadable expression on his face.

“I know feelings you aren’t used to can be uncomfortable, but I don’t think pushing Chenle away is the right way to deal with it. Jisung, you’re not happy doing that, I can tell. It’s hard, but maybe if you talk about it, it’ll make you feel better and you can figure out why you’re feeling this way,” Jaemin responded, choosing his words carefully.

Jisung remained silent; he tried to think about what all of this could mean. He knew Jaemin was right; he couldn’t do this forever, but the last time Chenle and him talked about feelings was what brought about this nervousness.

“Chenle would never hate you, you know that right?” Jaemin continued, without waiting for Jisung’s response.

“Alright!” Jaemin yelled, clapping his hands, “Now get up and go play! No more laying in my bed, I’m taking a nap,” Jaemin continued shouting, shaking the mood completely.

Jisung groaned, but let Jaemin pull him up.

\--

Jisung made more attempts over the next week or so to interact with Chenle more, but he still shied away from physical affection. He hoped that it didn’t seem too weird; he wasn’t fond of it anyway. He didn’t miss Chenle’s disappointed expression when he moved away a little too fast though.

Before he knew it, promotions ended, Chenle moved back home, and the Dream Show mention parties began. He was paired with Chenle for the mention party as usual, and they were set up to film a vlive in a couple days.

When they were setting up, Jisung was surprisingly feeling less anxious than usual. It may have been because Chenle wasn’t hanging around the dorm as much anymore. They had a lot to catch up on from being away from each other the majority of the past couple weeks.

“Did you see the look on Jaemin-hyung’s face?” Chenle asks, laughing at the memory of earlier today.

Jisung laughed along with him remembering how Jaemin’s face turned into one of total shock when he realized all the snacks were gone from his bag.

“Yeah…” Jisung agreed.

“With no help from you!” Chenle shouted, interjecting his laughter and hitting Jisung on the shoulder.

There it is again, like electricity running through his veins.

“How was I supposed to know what you were doing?” Jisung continues, ignoring the feeling.

“When do I ever wink ten times in a row?!” Chenle exclaimed, his voice now high-pitched.

“I don’t know. I thought you had something in your eye,” Jisung answered genuinely.

“Ah Park Jisung, really?”

_Thump thump._

\--

Everything was going smoothly until they started talking about how excited they were for the upcoming Dream Show.

Jisung knew that look. Chenle was about to spoil something major. The staff was going to lecture them again. Without thinking, he leaned closer and put his hand over Chenle’s mouth to shut him up.

“Jisung really wants a kiss that badly huh?” Chenle said teasingly.

Jisung pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned, the tips of his ears going red.

Why would he say something like that? Of course he’d never want to do that. Why does Chenle keep doing these things? Doesn’t he realize he’s freaking out about everything between them right now? But why is he even freaking out in the first place? _Ah Park Jisung, stop doing that._ Chenle was his best friend. But now when they touched, his skin felt tingly. When he heard Chenle call his name, his heart sped up. Every time Chenle leaned closer and adjusted his hair, he held his breath. They’re not...bad feelings necessarily, but these are the things that usually happen when he’s going to have a “meltdown.” Those are a little different though and leave a pit of dread behind. This kind of feels like butterflies in his stomach. Like the kind of thing that happens when you have a- Oh no. No no no no no. Please don’t say he has a crush on Zhong Chenle. This can’t be happening right now.

Suddenly a veil lifted from over his eyes and every interaction after the “cute” incident made sense.

He vaguely registered Chenle laughing and talking, but it sounded like background noise compared to his racing thoughts. Okay, breathe Jisung. You can’t do this right now. You can have a breakdown later. Right now, thousands of people are watching you.

It turned out he didn’t have any reason to worry. Chenle started talking about their changing hair colors and Jisung was able to slide back into the conversation naturally. He should’ve known better; he didn’t have to talk much at all, Chenle was talkative enough for the both of them.

After the vlive ended (due to the 10 pm minor broadcasting rule), Jisung excused himself to his room, feigning exhaustion. Chenle looked concerned; they usually always stayed up and played video games or watched a movie for a little while after vlives. Jisung was too rattled to care. He felt that if he talked to Chenle any longer, he’d somehow figure it out.

Despite saying he would freak out later, and even though he hadn’t totally accepted the idea of his crush, Jisung felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his chest as he fell asleep. He could finally put a name to his feelings.

\--

1,000₩: hey is everything okay?

Jisung: yeah why?

1,000₩: idk you just seem...tired a lot lately

Jisung: sorry I’m just in my head again

1,000₩: is this about what we talked about before? Don’t worry so much okay?

Jisung: it’s not. It’s something else. Thank you though :)

1,000₩: okay. You know I’m free to talk whenever right?

Jisung: yeah ofc

1,000₩: I know it’s hard, but don’t keep your head in the clouds too much. We need you down here too

…

1,000₩: I need you

_Thump. Thump._

Before his brain caught up with his body, he already hit the call button on Chenle’s name.

Riiiiing

Chenle picked up the phone on the first ring, unsurprising considering he presumably had his phone in his hand.

“HeydoyouwanttodosomethingnextFriday?”

“Park Jisung, why did you just call me and why are you suddenly inviting me to hang out?” Chenle answered the phone, mock annoyance in his tone, “I didn’t realize my offer to talk would be taken up so quickly.”

Jisung doesn’t really know what possessed him to click the call button on Chenle’s name. He blames it on the butterflies. His impulsiveness also meant he really didn’t think this through.

“Um, I don’t know. I feel like we haven’t hung out in a while…” Jisung answered hesitantly.

“I saw you just last week for the menpa,” Chenle replied, trying and failing to keep the fondness out of his voice.

“Are you saying you don’t want to?” Jisung said, sulking.

“Stop pouting Jisung, I can see it through the phone. Yes, we can hang out. Is there anything you have in mind?”

“N-Not really.”

“How about we go to Hangang? I haven’t been there in a while,” Chenle suggested.

“Sure, sounds good,” Jisung agreed, soft smile on his face.

“Okay, I’ll see you then?” Chenle prompted.

Honestly, he still sounded a little confused. It wasn’t often that Jisung called him, and if he did, it was as a last resort. Oh well, Jisung didn’t have time to worry about it now.

“Yeah, see you then. Bye.”

“Bye,” He heard Chenle’s response before he promptly hung up the phone.

Oh man. What has he gotten himself into?

\--

Jisung ran his hands through his hair for the 17th time and yes he’s been counting okay? He can’t help it when he’s nervous.

“Jisung, are you ready to go?” Their manager was nice enough to offer to drive Jisung to the park despite his impromptu planning.

“Yes! I’m coming!” he yelled from his room.

He hasn’t even decided how he was going to do this yet. Oh my god he’s going to be rejected so fast and Chenle’s never going to speak to him again and then he’ll have to quit being an-

“Park Jisung! I don’t have all day!” The manager called again, annoyance in her tone.

He took a deep breath and looked at his pained expression in the mirror. Chenle would never hate you, you know that right? Jaemin’s words echoed through his mind and gave him the final boost of strength he needed to walk out the door.

“Make sure to put on a heavy coat Jisung, it’s cold out there,” her voice instantly softening when she saw Jisung round the corner.

\--

Chenle was meeting them there. Normally, they’d just meet at the company first, but apparently Chenle’s mother had to take the car out anyway, so she offered to drop him off.

As they rounded the corner of where they supposedly were going to meet up, his manager turned to him.

“Jisung, I know I said I was available to accompany you today, but I have some errands to run in the area. Can you take care of yourselves for a couple hours?”

“Yeah, I think we ca-” Jisung almost finished before he was cut off.

“I mean it Park Jisung, no funny business. You guys stay in this area, keep your heads down, and call me at the first sign of trouble. You guys are almost adults, so act like it,” she says firmly, leaving no room for an argument.

“Yes ma’am,” Jisung said softy.

“Okay, you can go now.”

As soon as Jisung got out of the car, he saw Chenle leaning against a tree 100 or so feet away, on his phone as usual. He shook his head, only Zhong Chenle would still be on his phone when he’s surrounded by nature. As he walked closer, he noticed that Chenle was wearing the same blue striped sweater and beanie from when they went sledding for a This or That. Jisung felt his face flush. He’s so cute.

Just then, when Jisung was a few feet away, Chenle looked up at him.

_Thump. Thump._

Chenle’s face broke out into a grin at first, before he suddenly turned his face away and scoffed, looking back down at his phone.

“You’re late Jisung. I’ve been standing out here for 10 minutes in the freezing cold,” Chenle said, petulantly.

“Hey, I’m sorry okay, the...manager was taking too long to get ready,” Jisung replied, feeling a little guilty. His head turned towards the ground, trying to hide his white lie.

“Hmm, I guess I can forgive you…”

Jisung looked up.

“...if you buy me coffee from that cafe over there,” Chenle said pointing, usual grin plastered across his face.

“Hey!” Jisung quipped, hitting Chenle on the arm.

He was rewarded when Chenle’s bright laughter rang out.

They both walked towards the cafe anyway because no matter who was buying, warmth sounded too good to pass up.

On the way over, Jisung made a startling observation.

“Chenle! You don’t have gloves on,” Jisung proclaimed, slightly startled.

“I know, I took them off and forgot them in the car,” Chenle groaned with a chagrin.

“Aren’t your hands freezing?,” Jisung continued, taking one of Chenle’s hands in his.

“Yeah, a little. Why else do you think I wanted-,” Chenle suddenly stopped talking.

“What are you doing?” Chenle said a little quieter, looking up to where both of his hands were now cupped in Jisung’s and hot air was being blown into them.

Jisung felt his cheeks heat up.

“W-Warming your hands up,” Jisung replied hesitantly. He wasn’t sure why he decided to do it. It just felt right.

Their eyes locked for a few seconds during which they both remained silent. Chenle seemed to be searching for something and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Jisung was internally panicking and hoped Chenle wouldn’t realize.

“We should get inside, I think my bones are starting to freeze,” Chenle said, breaking the silence.

He pulled his hands from Jisung’s carefully and patted his head affectionately before walking ahead of Jisung towards the door. _Thump, thump._ Jisung didn’t feel too cold anymore, in fact he was burning up from the inside, but he followed Chenle through the door anyway.

When they got to the counter, Chenle ordered an insanely sweet cup of coffee and Jisung ordered a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. Chenle took out his wallet to pay like he usually did. Even though Chenle said he was going to make Jisung pay, it was an empty threat. Jisung wasn’t known for buying much of anything when he was out with his hyungs, but today Jisung immediately stopped him by saying that he’d pay this time.

Chenle gave him a bewildered look and was about to protest, but when he saw the determined look on Jisung’s face, the words seemed to die in his throat.

“Okay,” he said, and he couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his face.

\--

“Remember when we took those drink selfies here after I beat you in every single sledding race earlier this year?” Chenle suddenly mentioned.

“Oh yeah,” Jisung replied and the memory of how pretty and cute Chenle looked suddenly flooded his thoughts. At the time he kept calling Chenle cute out loud without a care in the world. They called each other cute all the time, it didn’t make a difference. Oh how the tables have turned. It was at this moment that Jisung finally processed the second half of the sentence.

“Yah, I started late every time!” Jisung protested weakly.

“Say whatever you want Jisung, but I’m still the best at sledding,” Chenle replied, cocky tone in tow.

“Whatever,” Jisung said, turning away with a frown.

“Anyway, the reason I brought it up was not to talk about my amazing sledding skills, but to suggest that we take new ones,” Chenle continued, “Here take one of me first,” Chenle got into a similar pose that he was in for the original photos they took. Not only was Jisung surprised he remembered the pose Jisung suggested, but by how different Chenle looked now compared to back then. Where there were rounded cheeks, there was a sharp jawline. Where his eyes used to constantly smile, there was a newfound maturity. Where there was a mouth that wouldn’t stop laughing, there was self-control. Jisung felt like he was looking at a different person.

But when Chenle turned around and flashed him his usual teasing grin while saying, “Park Jisung-ah, I know I’m handsome, but are you going to take the picture sometime today?” he knew Chenle was the same as he’d always been. His best friend.

\--

He can’t do this. They’ve been walking around the park for a good half an hour now. Jisung had planned to confess to Chenle today regardless of the reparations he would have to make afterward, but every time he tried to bring it up, he felt nauseous and his palms became sweaty (an impressive feat considering the cold). Their manager was going to pick him up soon, he felt the moment slipping away as he continued to watch Chenle’s smiling face.

But suddenly, a few minutes later, Chenle stopped walking and the smile falls from his face. He turns towards him.

“There’s something I don’t get Jisung.”

A pause as he seems to be considering his words.

“You avoid me for weeks, then call me to hang out. When we do hang out, you still seem like you, but at the same time you pull away from me. And this entire day, your face has been going between smiling and looking like you’re going to throw up at any moment. If there’s something I did, that disgusted you, by all means, let me know,” his voice turns quieter, “You’ve never been afraid to tell me what’s on your mind before and I-I’m confused...sometimes when I look at you I feel like- you know what nevermind, it’s stupid anyway,” he trails off and begins to walk a few steps ahead of Jisung, no longer looking at him.

Oh he’s really done it now, not only has he made Chenle upset, he made Chenle think he hated him. How can he fix this? He’s such a coward, he should’ve just told him from the start.

He grabbed Chenle’s arm before he gets too far away. Chenle stopped in his tracks, but did not look back.

Okay. Inhale, exhale.

Chenle glanced back. Jisung looked down before he could meet his eyes, hand still locked on his arm.

“I-I never wanted you to feel this way and I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just been going through some um, self-discovery,” Jisung paused, trying to figure out a way to express how he’s feeling. Well, I guess I should give some examples. “Like sometimes when you talk, I get really warm inside and I can’t help it. When you touch me, my stomach drops like I’m on a rollercoaster, or when you call my name, my heart beats so fast like ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum,” he does his best to act it out with his hand, “And at first I thought it was a bad thing, like when I’m about to have an attack, but then I realized that I don’t hate the feeling, I actually kind of like it. I know it’s really hard to explain and you probably won’t understand but-”

“I do,” Chenle speaks up.

“What?” Jisung glances up for the first time since he started speaking and meets Chenle’s determined gaze.

“I do understand.”

“You do?”

“Because I feel the exact same way.”

Jisung looked down to where Chenle took Jisung’s other hand in his. The hand that was once on Chenle’s arm was now intertwined with Chenle’s hand. He doesn’t remember when that happened. Chenle slowly moved Jisung’s other hand to his chest.

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

Jisung became wide-eyed. He-he has the same-

“You-you feel-” Jisung couldn’t get a sentence out if he tried.

A light redness bloomed on Chenle’s cheeks along with a shy smile. He nodded like he knew exactly what Jisung was talking about.

Jisung couldn’t keep the fondness out of his eyes if he tried. He smiled so big his cheeks started to hurt. He didn’t know what to look at, their intertwined hands or Chenle’s face. Eventually, one won out over the other.

“Yah, Park Jisung, stop looking at me like that,” Chenle said glancing down, whininess creeping back into his tone, but it lacked his usual bite.

“C’mere I want to show you something,” Chenle said immediately after. He took off running towards a tree on the outskirts of the park.

It took a few seconds before Jisung snapped out of it. “Chenle-ya, where are you going?” He peeled off after him.

When Jisung finally caught up, he was more winded than he would’ve liked. As he thought, they were standing next to a pretty large tree. A cherry blossom tree that had lost all its leaves in the cool winter air. It reminded him of their spring picnic surrounded by pink cherry blossom petals.

“What, what is it?” He asked, attempting to catch his breath.

“Hold on. Close your eyes,” Chenle said.

Jisung rolled his eyes, but complied.

He felt Chenle take his hand and lead him around the tree.

Wait.

“You better not scare me Chenle, I can’t do that and you know it,” Jisung said, his anxiety kicking into high gear.

“You’re fine Jisung, I’m not scaring you. I promise,” Chenle replied.

At Chenle’s words, his shoulders untensed and he exhaled. Through the years he’s known Chenle, there’s one thing he knows for certain. He trusts him unconditionally and if Chenle says he’s safe, then he’s safe. He doesn’t remember when Chenle’s presence started feeling like home, just that it does now.

“Then what are you-”

Suddenly he felt something warm against his cheek.

He opened his eyes and if he thought Chenle’s face was red before, it certainly was now. There was no mistaking it.

When Jisung figured out what Chenle had done, he’s sure he looked no better.

“You’re too cute, I had to,” Chenle pouted, trying not to smile.

“Remember when I said those kids calling us handsome at the sled park was the most humiliating day of my life? Well, this just topped it,” Jisung mentioned with a grin.

The punch he received afterwards was completely worth it. In fact, he didn’t know how he could feel so happy even with a sore arm.

Oh well, he’d blame it on the butterflies.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought, suggestions for the future, yell about Chenji etc..
> 
> Or chat with me on Twitter @whynothavefun16!


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